Mike

Sports

I grew up with sports.

I used to watch my favorite NFL football team play every weekend and couldn’t wait for the Super Bowl. I remember getting depressed after the All-Star game because I knew there would be no football until next season.

I actually liked the XFL and I loved that it filled the gap of the missing NFL. It only lasted for a season which sucked royal money balls.

I turned 50 and something happened. I’m not sure exactly what it was but I started to not care as much about football as I once did. I’m pretty sure the enormous salaries had something to do with it. I’m sure making teams change their name because someone is “offended” may also have something to do with it. I think it was the money mostly.

Right now, the Washington Redskins don’t even know who the hell they are. The people that are offended aren’t even the people that are supposed to be offended. The real Redskins (the Indians for you new people) don’t give a fuck.

When the coronavirus hit, sports because the last thing on Earth that people actually cared about and I was ok with that. I guess it took the pandemic for me to realize just how insignificant sports really is. The sports went away for a period of time and everything was ok.

This is from an article in today’s paper.

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First of all, these kids did NOT lose everything last year. They are still fucking alive aren’t they? You fucking moron.

Everyone didn’t die. The newspaper was a lot more fun to read for me because the sports section (if it was in the paper at all) was only a page or half of a page.

To sum up this article…

…fuck sports.

HDWGH – Story 25 – Modern Spycraft

HDWGH – Story 25 – Modern Spycraft

From The How Did We Get Here Series

Now: Charles Dooley’s face became an instant shade of pale as he looked through the telescopic lens of his spy camera. His wife was in the apartment complex across the way. Two floors down from where Charles was spying from his balcony. His wife’s hard nipples were pressed against the patio door glass as she took Doug Johnson’s incredibly large ‘Johnson’ from behind.

Before: He knew it was wrong. He also knew he liked watching. Charles Dooley had started watching his neighbor’s sexual escapades through a pair of old Army field googles he had acquired from his long since dead grandfather. Since those first few times, he had upgraded and bought a super serious rig capable of recording what he saw.

Charles didn’t have many friends. There wasn’t really anyone he could talk to about what he saw so he kept the Wednesday afternoon viewing pleasure to himself. He didn’t dare tell his wife. She’d make him take the rig back to the store and shame him into doing something else a lot less interesting.

Doug Johnson had a huge cock. It was no wonder that various neighborhood women would pay him a visit on Wednesdays. There were at least two dozen that he recognized from various social functions and he always felt a little bad for the husbands. If they only knew. If only, he could tell them.

Well, the one thing that made him feel comfortable in his manhood was the fact that his wife wasn’t one of the visitors.

Company Leaks

Apple has had a really hard time to leaks to the press or other sources before a major announcement.

There are a lot of people that thrive on rumors and want to speculate about what the next big thing will be.

These same people may also not understand why leaking things to the public ahead of an event is bad.

If I am an engineer and I have worked to develop a product that I am proud of. Even if it’s something I am not entirely proud of, the fact remains that I’ve probably put a lot of time and effort into it.

I think as the engineer, I deserve to be able to present the work I’ve done my way. In Apple’s case, it would be a big press event. I should think that I am the person who deserves to show what I’ve done to others and not some publication, journalist, or an armchair technology quarterback.

When you release this information ahead of the engineering team’s expectation, you are literally robbing them of their moment in the sun. A moment that is sorely and richly deserved. They earned it. The person who writes about the leaked information has not earned anything. They were given information that can either chose to act on or chose to not act on. It is entirely their decision.

The person who releases the information has malicious intentions whether they feel that they do or not. That information is not yours to present. You didn’t “earn” the right to do so.

And that, makes the leakers and the people that present those leaks to the public lower then dog shit on the evolutionary scale.

Bad Decisions

When you reach the age of 50 or thereabouts, you begin to look on the world with different eyes.

The one thing I have seen recently is just how much young people make really bad decisions.

At 50, your decisions are based on a lot of things but are mostly free of emotions. You take things a bit less seriously and you also realize that not everything that everyone does is about you.

It is easy to see the bad decisions that people make everyday by just opening up the newspaper and reading it. The criminal section is literally mind blowing.

The problem with some of these bad decisions is that they can’t be undone. You can’t take back your irrational behavior. People don’t unsee the things you’ve said and done.

Take a moment to think before you speak. Think before you act. Think beyond the moment. I know it can be difficult but life isn’t always about the single move in front of you. It can be about the several moves that are ahead of you that you can’t yet see.

Help your heart get out of the way so your head can see the path ahead.

Ok. I have to give the soapbox back now.

Baby Bottle Service

How about your favorite coffee beverage served in a baby bottle?

No. I am not making this up.

From my daily newspaper…

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I’d link to the whole story but since it’s a paywall, I’ll refrain.

Phone Calls

I don’t like to talk on the phone. Anyone who knows me will tell you how true that is. I hate making phone calls. I’d rather text, IM, or do smoke signals.

I’m saying that because my house mate has been on the phone with a member of his family for probably somewhere along the lines of oh, say five hours.

Yep. That is not a typo (this time). Believe me, I’ve had many many typos. My whole life is a typo.

I don’t like I’d have six minutes worth of things to talk about let alone 6 hours.

Trust me. I am probably the most boring person there is. A rock probably comes in first place but damn it, I am a close 2nd.

Spring!!

Finally, a season I actually like because it means we’ll be getting into the other season I really like SUMMER!

I live in the wrong part of the country for some who doesn’t enjoy cold weather; I am aware.

HDWGH – Story 24 – Neglected Details

From The How Did We Get Here Series

Now: Megan Hamilton woke up out of a dead sleep. She couldn’t help it. Her husband was facing her and looked to be out cold. In the small space between them, a wet urine soaked bed. The smell made her want to vomit.

Before: Josh Hamilton would finally be able to sleep with his new bride. He knew the rules. No drinking alcohol or unpleasant things could happen during the night. He had been successful in keeping this from Megan throughout the years they’ve been dating. It was rather easy. They had never actually spent the entire night together. They weren’t prone to drinking so he wasn’t really worried.

The wedding reception was full of alcohol and Josh knew that if he drank any of it, there would be a small chance Megan would get an unexpected surprise in the morning.

It was his wedding day after all. Why not?

Life Tip# 3740

How to know you’ve completely lost your mind.

When you are attempting to please yourself sexually and you utter the words “you’re doing it wrong.”

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

…or as I used to say back in the 90’s.

Happy “would have been” Birthday Grandma!

I think of her often. She was a wonderful lady.

As I go onto Google this morning, I have to ask myself “why is this google so fucking lame?”

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No traditional St. Patrick’s Day anything in this.

Well, at least its green.

Public Stalking

I believe I just figured out why it disturbs me when I hear that someone is a “fan” of someone else so much that they devote time, money, and resources in the pursuit of said fandom.

The words “stalk” and “fan” are remarkably similar.

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…and fan…

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I believe the only difference between stalking someone and being a fan of someone is the fact that being a fan can be done in public.

Why Don’t Men Care

Perhaps, I should relabel this post as “Why Don’t Most Men Care?”

What am I talking about?

I’m talking about men who sit by while their daughters pose nude for magazines, pictures, or whatever. Think about all of the magazines with nude women in them that you have ever seen. Most of those women have fathers who had to sign off on what they were doing. Why is that?

Why do some men want their wives to go out wearing as little as is humanly possible?

I remember pulling off my girlfriends top in our parking lot in broad daylight. Anyone could have seen her tits. Some people driving by probably did. I do not know why I didn’t care. She was beautiful.

Perhaps, that is the reason. I think my daughter is beautiful and I don’t really mind if others see that as well. It doesn’t bother me.

My ex-wife is a nudist. I don’t care.

My daughter lives in a nudist colony. I don’t care.

Maybe, this is a topic that I just don’t really care about.

Playing Battlefront II

I remember doing my own thing when I started playing BF2. I knew there was some goal we had to achieve but I didn’t always know what it was.

I’ve been playing so long now, I know exactly what we need to do to win.

This post isn’t about me bitching. Not at all.

I think it’s funny watching new players doing the stupid things I used to do when I started. If I want to win the game, I can pretty much do that. As long as I have a couple of other vets playing.

One thing I love about this game in particular is how it shows you the value of teamwork. When all 20 players are working towards the same goal, we almost always win.

The games that I am in where we lose are the exact opposite. Those are games where everyone is off doing their own thing.

Just weird perspective drive by posting…

Apple Versus Facebook and Privacy

I don’t see how Facebook comes out of this smelling anything other than a big hairy turd that no one even wants to look at. They’ve already been caught in the small business lie which this article confirms. Realistically, it wasn’t a stretch to hear Facebook talk about how Apple’s privacy changes would affect small businesses on their site and not want to throw up. The mere thought of that made me almost rethink my whole existence. Since when does Facebook give a fuck about anyone or anything that doesn’t make them money? Perhaps, I slipped into a parallel dimension where Facebook cares about things other than itself.

Facebook has been attacking Apple with campaigns that say the iOS 14 privacy changes will hurt small businesses, as many of them use Facebook’s platforms to advertise their products and services. However, a former Facebook employee argues that these changes may not affect small businesses as these businesses are usually located in specific cities or states, which makes it easier to determine the ad’s target audience without using IDFA trackers.

Using Facebook makes them money. That is why I rarely use it for anything. If you truly don’t like what a company does then by all means, do not support it.

Sometimes I think that the people that use Facebook and have the nerve to bitch about it are the reason why we can’t have nice things and we’re not living on Mars.

HDWGH – Story 23 – A Summer Night Stroll

From The How Did We Get Here Series

Now: Cam (short for Camille) Dallas is walking home in the pale moonlight on a nice summer evening. She is 100% nude and desperately hoping no one sees her.

Before: Cam Dallas woke up with a slight burning sensation over most of her nude body. It took her a quick moment to realize that she had fallen asleep in the tanning bed. Why didn’t anyone wake her up? She thought to herself. She opened up the lid of the tanning bed to discover it was dark. She stood up and fumbled around for a light. After a few moments, the lights came on. The first thing she noticed was that her clothes were gone. That was weird.

She opened the door and to her surprise, the entire office was dark. What time was it? She walked back into her room and looked up at the clock. 1:57 am. What the fuck! How could they leave her in the tanning booth? She looked around frantically for something to put on. Nothing. Not even a fucking towel.

She thought for a moment. Since it was early morning, she may get away with walking home nude. Thank goodness the mini mall didn’t have super security. She pushed open a back door. No alarm.

RIP – Lou Ottens

Via Engadget

Ottens started work on the cassette tape in the early 1960s. The way NPR tells the story, he wanted to develop a way for people to listen to music that was affordable and accessible in the way that large reel-to-reel tapes at the time were not. So he first created a wooden prototype that could fit in his pocket to help guide the project. He also worked to convince Philips to license his invention to other manufacturers for free. Philips went on to introduce the first “compact cassette” in 1963, and the rest, as they say, is history. But that wasn’t the end of Ottens’ career. He went on to help Philips and Sony develop the compact disc.