Collected Funnies

I’m not sure why I haven’t posted these. I’ve been collecting them for the past week.

Garfield

Screen Shot 2021 10 07 at 5 45 46 AM

Dilbert

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Screen Shot 2021 10 06 at 4 50 30 AM

Facebook Disappeared

Understanding How Facebook Disappeared from the Internet

Great article about how Facebook went dark for several hours yesterday.

“Facebook can’t be down, can it?”, we thought, for a second.

Today at 1651 UTC, we opened an internal incident entitled “Facebook DNS lookup returning SERVFAIL” because we were worried that something was wrong with our DNS resolver 1.1.1.1. But as we were about to post on our public status page we realized something else more serious was going on.

Social media quickly burst into flames, reporting what our engineers rapidly confirmed too. Facebook and its affiliated services WhatsApp and Instagram were, in fact, all down. Their DNS names stopped resolving, and their infrastructure IPs were unreachable. It was as if someone had “pulled the cables” from their data centers all at once and disconnected them from the Internet.

How’s that even possible?

Christopher Reeve is Still Dead

No Google. It is not Christopher Reeves’ 69th birthday because he stopped having birthdays when he was 52. You know. Because, he died when he was 52.

Birthdays are celebrated by the living for the living. If you have a 16th birthday it is because you’ve lived that long. If you died when you were 5, you can’t possibly have a 16th birthday.

It is pretty simple really. I don’t know why we keep mis-using and mis-representing birthdays on Google.

It is ok to say “It *would have been* Christopher Reeve’s 69th birthday today.

On October 10, 2021, we can celebrate his death day.

A Week with COVID-19

09/04 – I got my first Covid-19 shot.

09/09 – I rode into work with a co-worker. Unknown to both of us at the time, one of their family members was infected with Covid.

09/10 – My co-worker started getting sick in the PM.

09/12 – I was laying out in the sun and began coughing sporadically. By 1530, I had the beginnings of what felt like a fever. By 1630, I was in bed with the covers pulled over me. It was a long night and I ended up with an extremely high temperature. Perhaps, the highest temperature I had ever had.

09/13 – Felt pretty good except still had the cough. Felt a little chilly.

09/14 – Now we have a boatload of congestion. Needed to take PMs to make myself fall asleep. Feverish off and on but nothing like the first night.

09/15 – Pretty much the same thing as the day before.

09/16 – New problem. Now, I can’t smell or taste anything. Took a sample and sent it to Amazon Labs for analysis. Should have results in 24 hours. Kim picked it up and dropped it off at UPS for me.

09/17 – Still can’t taste or smell. I am able to breathe through my nose which has been hit and miss the whole time. Received a message that the lab has received my sample. I should know within 24 hours what the results are. Pretty sure it will be positive.

**Update: 09/24** – *Results of the test were positive. I expected no less. My sense of smell and taste has slowly been returning. Two days ago, I caught a faint whiff of my shower soap and then could barely smell my deodorant. This morning, I can taste coffee. I can smell my chapstick. Today, I’ll see if I can find out about returning to work on Monday.*

Resentment

Somebody I started watching on YouTube a while back. Ali Abdul sends out a newsletter every week or so and this is something that I found to be so true.

CleanShot 2021 09 14 at 12 33 24 2x

HDWGH – Story 47 – Childhood Lost

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Tanner Edwards stood in the school yard with a look of abject horror on his face. He didn’t pee his pants but at this point, it was an option he was considering.

**Before**: Johnny Henry was having the time of his life. He was listening to his classmate discuss the money he had just gotten for leaving a tooth under his pillow. One thing Johnny Henry loves more than chocolate ice cream on Sunday mornings is other people’s misery. Boy, was he going to have a blast with this one.

“Hey Tanner. Yeah, the money doesn’t come from a fairy. Your parents gave it to you. While we’re on the subject, Santa Claus…nope. Your parents. Easter Bunny…nope. Your parents. Sorry to have to break it to you.”

Tanner stood there with his mouth open. This was not happening.

HDWGH – Story 46 – Crack Hoarder

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: It had been three long months but Jackie Turner had finally won. The hoarder style family home she grew up in was finally empty. Now, her children could finally visit Grandmas house.

**Before**: Jackie Turner’s mother was a hoarder. She had been a hoarder all of Jackie’s life. When Jackie grew up and moved away, she was thankful that her lifestyle choices didn’t mirror her mother’s. Jackie kept a clean home.
As the years went on, Jackie was constantly forced to make up excuses as to why the kids couldn’t go to grandmas’ house. She didn’t want her children to see what hoarding is. Her old family home was so packed with various items that you couldn’t move anywhere in the house without touching something. Literal tunnels of walkways led you through the house. It was almost like a maze.
While sitting at a local bar, Jackie overheard a conversation between two other women. They were discussing funny things they wished they could do to other people. Neither one would actually do anything but it was when they got to their idea of how to clean up a hoarders house that Jackie’s ears perked up.

Crack cocaine.

The idea was ridiculously simple but yet designed for results. Introduce the hoarder to crack and through natural progression, they’ll soon be selling off their household goods to pay for the crack habit. It was really brilliant when you thought about it.

So, a plan was born.

HDWGH Ideas

The ideas for my HDWGH series come from all kinds of places.

The next story is going to feature an idea that a co-worker had for cleaning up the home of someone who is considered a *hoarder*.

The idea is so outlandish that…after laughing, I thought was one of the funniest things I had heard in a long time. What makes this so funny is that it could actually work.

I look forward to writing and posting this one tomorrow.

Two Weeks of No HDWGH

It is the summer time after all and I am trying to get as much sun as is humanly possible before the fall gets here and robs me of the opportunity.

I am hoping to be able to write some stories over the weekend but I am also programming so I have a lot of projects going on.

As soon as the programming tasks are completed, I’ll get back to writing.

Promise.