HDWGH – Story 19 – The Portwinkel Shuffle

HDWGH – Story 19

From The How Did We Get Here Series

Now: Nort Portwinkel lays face down on his families bathroom floor, dead. He is nude except for what is left of his tee shirt proudly displaying the words “Quiet Riot” with a curling iron sticking out of his rear end.

Before: Nort Portwinkel’s sister Katie was starting to piss him off. She had been in the bathroom for about an hour an Nort needed to get ready for a concert in the city’s downtown baseball stadium. It was one of his favorite bands of all time. Katie kept telling him that she’d be done soon but it was becoming obvious to Nort that she was just being a bitch. She had nowhere to go. He did.

Nort decided to accelerate her departure by breaking the door in. When he did, he found his sister sitting on the toilet on her cellphone completely nude and utterly mad and embarrassed. She had been “sexting” her boyfriend this whole time. Katie not wanting to be the only one embarrassed pulled her brothers pants down revealing his absence of any underwear. Now, we had an awkward situation to say the least. Nort began to spew profanities at his sister until she had had enough.

She picked up her legs and kicked Nort driving him back into the bathroom counter where Katie’s hot curling iron was plugged in awaiting her use. With the perfect alignment that only ever happens once in a lifetime, the curling iron did two things at the same time. The sudden force caused an electrical short while it entered Nort’s rear quarter. Nort didn’t have time to scream. The electricity ravaged his body until he fell to the bathroom tile dead with a smoking tee shirt. His sister just stared straight ahead still nude and wondering how she was going to explain any of this.