I found this because I get their newsletter. Ok, I guess I didn’t really find it. They showed it to me and then, I bought it.
However, I am enjoying it and I highly recommend it to anyone familiar with Critical Role.
October 2020
The Annoyed Beta Tester
I found this and couldn’t help but comment on it.
My reply to this thread is below. Irritation, annoyance, and frustration are the very definition of what beta testers must go through. You are signing up to put up with it so I get a little irritated myself when I see people whine about it.
QOTD – Monogamy
Human beings are not wired to be monogamous. They are trained to be monogamous and those are two very different things.
Mike Williams, World Famous Writer in 23 dimensions
HDWGH – Story 15 – Church Gossip
–From The How Did We Get Here Series–
Now: A very confused church pastor is standing at the church podium with a red handprint on his cheek and an angry wife standing in front of him.
Before: It was a beautiful spring day. A perfect morning for a nice country church service. During the pause in the service where the offering is being collected, Gladys Johnson turns to her friend Sarah Whitley and whispers “Poor Daniel Baker was up late last night looking for Dorothy’s pearl necklace. It seems she dropped it down the garbage disposal while cleaning up the evening dishes.” Arthur Harrington had a few hearing problems but knew what he just heard Gladys whispering. Daniel Baker gave Dorothy a pearl necklace and she treated him like garbage. Arthurs wife asked what he had just heard and he gave her his version. Rita asked Arthur’s wife what she heard and she passed on her version which was that Daniel makes his wife take his “pearl necklace” while he treats her like garbage. Dorothy was sitting next to Rita and heard the exchange.
Without missing a beat, she gets up while her husband is preparing to deliver his sermon and stands in front of him mortified. She slaps him in the face and says “How dare you tell people about our private sex life!”
Ice Cream Machine
Yes. Someone went through the trouble of creating a website to check and see how many McDonald’s ice cream machines were down.
Irrational Anger
There are some people that make me angry. I’m not sure why I harbor such anger for them. I can’t honestly say that it is justified. I generally like everyone so when an odd occurrence like this happens, I need to step back and try to figure out what the underlying issue is.
In the case of the female downstairs right now, I am pretty sure I know why she makes me angry. She constantly complains about her life and continuously asks for advice. Normally, you’d think that would be a good thing. The problem is that she never takes the advice. She knows how everything works. She knows her life is broken. She doesn’t know how to fix it. When you try to tell her how to fix it, well — see previous “She knows how everything works.”
I came to a point in my life where I knew that drinking beer every night and taking PMs to fall asleep was a serious problem. It is a problem I recognized and then corrected. I no longer drink beer and I no longer require PMs to put me to sleep. There are some other things I cut out but the point is that I acted. I took action to correct the problems. I took advice. I tried to make the appropriate changes.
Hyrum Smith (founder of the Franklin Planner system) once said that the difference between success and non-success is easily defined by “the successful person is willing to do that which the unsuccessful person is unwilling to do.” I love the lecture he gave where this comes from. Truly inspiring. Ok. Now, back to the anger.
I have friends that are constantly adjusting their lives to try and find that happy place. One of my friends even has a husband that thinks his happiness is based on buying a new pickup truck. If he could only have this one “thing” he just knows he’ll be happy. The problem is that is never happens. He is just left with emptiness and a need for self validation in many different forms. If I remember correctly, he also equates sex with love. If his wife doesn’t have sex with him, she doesn’t love him. Sometimes I think I should have been a head shrinker. I actually enjoy analyzing people. That isn’t the same as people watching.
People watching is finding amusement in the behavior of others. Analyzing is when you try to figure out their story. What drives them? Why don’t they look happy? Is the couple you are admiring having an affair or are they married to each other? Those are easy to figure out.
I may have to write another article about my opinions about marriage. I have no love for that institution and have solid reasons why not.
See? I feel better just writing this crap out. Now, if the female downstairs would just leave then everything will be just fine for the rest of the evening. Two words for her. Get. Out.
Update: The point of this post. The point of this post is that I am angry at the woman downstairs because she takes advantage of my friend. That is why she makes me angry.
Kindle Paperwhite
I have been using a Kindle for several years. The readability is outstanding and it almost feels like you have a book in your hand when you are using it.
There is one thing about the Kindle that I absolutely do not like— The interface. Finding a book to read can be extremely tedious. The touch screen is not what I am used to and at times it seems unresponsive. Finding a book using the Kindle app on my iMac, MacBook Pro, iPhone, or iPad is relatively easy compared to the product that Amazon created to just read books. I find that ironic.
If the Kindle lovers are lucky, perhaps Amazon will design and create something that addresses these issues. I have thought about getting an Oasis but lets be honest— why would I spend $299 on a device that doesn’t perform nearly as well as my phone? In addition to that, my phone can do other things. You can now buy a $300 iPhone that would outperform an Oasis in every measurable way.
Just my two cents about it. I am currently reading a David Weber book on my Kindle Paperwhite while reading Stephen King’s On Writing on my iPhone.
Goodbye Green Screen…sort of…
This is an excellent video showing how the Mandalorian used LED panels to replace green screen. This allows exceptional color and reflective properties on the actors and props.
A New Way of Writing
I am writing this using Ulysses. The program has been around for a very long time but I’ve only just got around to trying it out. It is now a part of Setapp so I didn’t have to spend the money.
So far, I like the simplicity of it. I could write blog posts, stories, or whatever hits me and basically keep all of those things in the same place. The only exceptions to that would be Final Draft and Scrivener. Let’s face it, Final Draft is the standard for writing scripts. To me, Scrivener is the standard for writing short stories or novels.
This will probably be the perfect place to write all of those HDWGH stories. Of course, there are more of those on the way.
I’ll look forward to writing a detailed review in the days ahead.
Nudity in HDWGH Stories
I am often asked why my HDWGH (How Did We Get Here?) stories have so much nudity in them. Is it a direct reflection of my personality?
The short answer is no. Although I would consider myself a closet nudist which covers most people I believe, that isn’t the reason why I include a lot of nudity in my stories.
To me, the nudity is funny because of how other people in the United States view it. I watched a young woman change her top in Marseilles France in a McDonalds and nobody cared. Try doing that in the US. The United States has a weird view of nudity and it is always fun to exploit it.
I have a neighbor that has no problem letting her teenage daughter play violent video games where both sides are actively trying to kill each other but has a serious issue with her seeing nude people.
What is wrong with that? Everything.
You will continue to see stories involving nudity on my site and I will continue laughing every time I write them.
Bad Windows 10
Windows 10 is installing and rebooting without user consent for apps other than upgrades or security patches.
The apps take up no storage or other resources. Until now, though, installing Office web apps was optional. Windows isn’t asking for your permission, let alone informing you of what’s about to happen. Microsoft is potentially disrupting work or other important tasks to promote its online productivity suite.
I have Windows 10 in the form of a virtual machine that is made to behave because it resides in a computer sandbox. It is sad that I HAVE to do that.
Saving The Environment: Landfills
I’ve been actively working on this part of my life. If you think about it, we through a lot of shit away. That shit has to go somewhere. We have various methods of ways of doing this. Everything from throwing it in the ground, burning it, or if possible recycling it.
I read an article about a German law a while back that was outlawing certain type of plastics because the German government didn’t want to see it going into their landfills. Makes sense on the surface. This got me thinking about some of the things I’ve been doing. Using plastic forks and knives at work is a big one. Why? I have several sets of camping utensils that I barely use. So, I decided that from that moment on I was going to use the camping utensils instead of using plastic forks and knives and adding to the landfill problem.
That isn’t the only change. I also have been guilty of buying Kleenex tissues by the case. Again, I asked myself why I was doing that? This past weekend I bought a boatload of cheap bandanas. When I was a young boy my father always carried around a “hanky.” If you needed to blow your nose, you used the hanky. You can wash them and use them over and over again. Bandanas have tons of different uses including a makeshift face mask if you need one.
I’ve also stopped buying store bought water. We have a reverse osmosis system here at Castle Nerda so I can just fill up reusable bottles here at home. At the moment they are Smartwater bottles which are every campers dream. They are perfect for a lot of things and extremely durable. A little less ideal because they are still plastic and will need to be thrown away a lot sooner than I would have needed to throw away an aluminum container. I am working on it.
My ideals have changed in the last 20 years. I specifically remember not giving a shit about using disposable items if it meant that I didn’t need to do dishes. We grow and mature. Hopefully, I have grown enough to realize that I am not going to save the planet from anything but I can certainly be a lot kinder to it. Let’s face it, the earth can shrug us off it as though we were flies. Mother Earth doesn’t give a shit about what you care about or what you believe. The earth can explode beneath your feet at any time and no amount of tree hugging will save you. With that being said…
…that doesn’t mean you have to pee on her lawn.
Self Sabotage
In a First, New England Journal of Medicine Joins Never-Trumpers
By entering the political arena, The New England Journal of Medicine becomes something else and destroys its credibility in my opinion. Now, a supposedly scientific journal has political opinions? Why?
HDWGH – Story 14 – Can’t Park There
— From the How Did We Get Here Series —
Now: A modern SUV is upside down in the middle of a country road.
Before: Johnny Parks had some serious trouble on his hands. His mother just bought him a ferret and now he found himself chasing it through the house. The darn thing was fast! It wove under the dining room table into the kitchen and oh no! The cat door on the other side of the kitchen. Johnny ran as fast as he could but the ferret was faster. He didn’t even get a chance to name it yet. Before Johnny could get the door open he heard a loud screeching sound followed by a bump or two and then nothing. When he finally got the kitchen door open, the ferret was up on his hind legs looking at Johnny with a look of “what?” In the middle of the road, an SVU was still spinning on it’s roof. Little Johnny wondered over to the driver side door when the car stopped spinning and simply said, “You can’t park there mister.”
HDWGH – Story 13 – Fried Cat Anyone?
— From the How Did We Get Here Series —
Now: A cat lies smoldering on the kitchen floor with what looks like an electrical cord hanging out of its mouth. The cat was dead a few amps ago.
Before: The small mouse couldn’t find a way out of the impossible maze that was the Peterson’s first floor wall. It had been trying for what seemed like an eternity. The mouse started feeling a bit heavier as its small rear leg caught on a cable. It didn’t stop. It pushed forward. The Peterson’s house cat Felix caught the motion out of the corner of his eye. It was a mouse! The mouse was also dragging something. Felix leap into action. As his sizable canines began to clamp down on the “string” the live electrical line found a path to ground. Poor Felix became the electrical kitty cat resistor bursting into flames shortly thereafter. The mouse broke loose from the hinderance on its leg and moments later, found a way out of the Peterson’s home.
HDWGH – Story 12 – Wait a Tick!
— From the How Did We Get Here Series —
Now: Little Kyle Peterson sits on the sidewalk feeling a bit lightheaded with a stinging pain coming from the right side of his head. He has no idea why.
Before: Tammy Hess was doing what her friends expected her to do. Smile to the boys as she was walking down Chestnut Avenue on the way to the local 5 and dime. Her friends seemed so hollow and talking to boys seemed pointless but who was she to judge. Her friend Murt stopped just long enough to begin a dialogue with a boy named Kyle. Tammy immediately noticed a small facial tick every time Kyle would respond to Murt’s stupid questions.
Without knowing why, Tammy picked up a rock and walked over to Kyle. She stood in front of him and waited for the “tick” thing to happen again. When it did. She hit him in the head with the rock.
HDWGH – Story 11 – Just Hangin’
— From the How Did We Get Here Series —
Now: Sutton awoke to find herself upside down, hanging from her feet, a crowd gathered around her, and a sense of dread that she had decided to simply wear just a sun dress today. With the dress pooled at her neck, she was fairly certain why there was a crowd.
Before: Sutton was enjoying some of the best sushi she had ever tasted. This little out of the way restaurant was a great find on her recent tour of Tokyo. It had none of the usual English lettering on the signs out front which meant that very few English speaking people visited this place. With only her and what looked like a small family on the other side of the restaurant, this day couldn’t be any more perfect.
Until she got a call from Steve, her ex-boyfriend who just happened to be on this tour because “he paid all of that money…blah…blah…blah.” It didn’t take long for an argument to ensue about things that really didn’t matter and could probably have waited.
They probably should have waited. Because…
The small family on the other side of the restaurant wasn’t really a “family” in the traditional sense. They were a form of Yakuza. What Americans might refer to as “mafia” and they were quite upset about having to listen to Sutton’s issues while trying to enjoy a break in their day. While walking out, one of the members slipped a little Rohypnol into her Saki.
They could have simply killed her and left her in a side alley but that was a bit too uncivilized for this particular crime.
Some rope from a car, a few school boy giggles at the nudity in front of them, and a ruined lunch time meeting turned out to be the meme that keeps on giving.
Moral of this story: Always carry some rope and Rohypnol with you. You never know when you’ll need it.
