July 2021

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: The co-owner of the law firm Carlton Jacobs couldn’t believe his eyes. His friend and founding partner Jim Nettles was laying in a bloody mess at the bottom of the elevator shaft. His lifeless eyes staring into nothing with his head bent at an unnatural angle. Jim obviously didn’t survive the fall. How could this have happened? He wondered to himself. He took every precaution.

**Before**: Jim Nettles was finished with this day before it had even began. His phone was dinging every few minutes to indicate a new message and he wondered to himself how everyone could be so needy? He had a secretary to filter his calls throughout the work day but in the early morning hours, he was on his own.

The day didn’t get much better from there. It was about 10 am when Jim decided to silence his notifications all together. It was getting out of hand. He had been working on a case that the law firm would try in the coming weeks but Jim didn’t like to wait until the last minute to get his notes together. He would spend the next few days rehearsing for the jury.

It was about 10:30 am when Jim decided to head down to his partner’s office on the 5th floor to confirm his notes and to also get Carlton’s opinion on the “tone” of his speech. He pushed the elevator button like he had done a thousand times before. He turned his notifications back on. He watched the notifications pop up one by one as the elevator doors opened. His eyes were glued to the screen as he stepped onto…nothing. The elevator car was missing as Jim flailed about trying to find purchase on anything. Jim was unsuccessful and fell ten stories to his untimely death.

The cellphone was cushioned from the fall by his body and went he hit, the phone jumped up a couple feet falling back onto Jim’s chest display side up with a single notification showing.

Jim – This is Carlton. I wish you would answer your phone. Don’t use the elevator. It is out of order. Take the stairs. I have a team coming in to repair it within the hour.

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Bobby Jones pressed on the key fob that some hysterical lady just gave to him while running from a man who was in the process of yelling at her. Bobby had never quite heard all of the expletives used but he thought the man was quite creative with their use. The lights flashed on what looked like a brand new Jaguar. It seems Bobby’s luck had just changed for the better.

**Before**: It was on the 5th level of the Glendale parking garage that Maggie Reynolds decided that Herb Reynolds could go “fuck himself.” They had been married for 10 years and the asshole always seemed to care about his possessions more than he cared about her. She eyed a man standing next to a broken down Subaru and started walking towards him. Her husband began shouting some of the worst obscenities she had heard in years. She was far enough ahead that the quick transfer of the key fob of their car to the stranger and a brief “It’s yours” was all that was needed to complete this life lesson for Herb.

She continued walking towards the elevator with her husband trailing behind when they heard the unmistakable beeps of the car’s key fob communication. The look on her husband’s face was all that she really needed to see that day. It was wonderful. Fuck that prick.

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Today would be the day that Kevin Duncan would earn a new nickname. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be earned for something he actually had done. He would earn the nickname for something the girls in the lunchroom thought he did. Middle school kids didn’t care about the facts of the incident before them. They saw a young man with a big brown stain where you might expect such a stain if one were to crap their pants. Kevin backed into a square support pole in the lunchroom and when he stood upright, the girls sitting next to the pole began to scream when they saw a brown stain on the pole and on the ass of one Kevin Duncan.

**Before**: Kevin Duncan wasn’t allowed to touch the remaining Hershey Bars that were in the fridge. He never let that stop him. He’d blame the loss on his drunk step father and his mother would probably shake her head and yell at him for something he didn’t even do. Kevin was in a pretty good spot. With both bars in his right hand, he began to walk out off the house when his mother stopped him the in the hallway. With only seconds to spare, he slipped the chocolate bars into his back pockets.

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Mother and daughter arrived at the upstairs bathroom laundry shoot at exactly the same moment both carrying a used towel. Heather Collins looked at her daughter Felicia Collins and smiled without saying a word. Felicia smiled back as they both opened the shoot and tossed the towels inside.

**Before**: It was a night that many called a “Strawberry Moon.” Felicia Collins thought it was extremely romantic and invited her boyfriend Nick over to celebrate by having sex near her bedroom window. The window was large and Felicia imagined the two of them rolling around in the sheets under the beautiful light.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Collins residence. Heather Collins had prepared everything required for a romantic evening with her husband Joe. Their bedroom was decked out in candles, rose petals, and of course, incense burning on a nightstand by the bed. It had Harlequin Romance written all over it. After all, the moon was exceptionally gorgeous tonight.

Nick rolled off Felicia as their love making had come to an end. Felicia was so close to having an orgasm but right before she could release it, Nick finished leaving her unfulfilled. She went through the usual act of pretending like it was fantastic sex. It wasn’t. She wasn’t sure how much longer she’d stay in the relationship. All she wanted was a boyfriend that cared about her needs. Nick definitely wasn’t that guy. She kissed him as she watched him leave her room and gently closed the door as he went.

Heather didn’t claw Joe’s back because he was giving her incredible sex. She was clawing his back out of sheer frustration. She was so close to having an orgasm and that prick had finished before her. What did she expect? He had been doing this for their entire marriage. She thought that the moonlight may change things. It didn’t. Joe put his clothes on and left their bedroom. No words spoken. Joe thought is was great sex and had the claw marks on his back to prove it. Heather thought it was yet another disappointing night.

Toby Granger was walking down Grant Street when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. The Collins house. He had fantasies about Felicia Collins but she was too classy for Toby and he knew it. What he saw made him do a double take. Two big windows on the second floor side by side had the silhouettes of two nude woman. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that they were playing with themselves rather vigorously. Toby quickly took out his phone and began recording making sure to set the resolution to 4k.

Toby couldn’t really tell from the street but almost at the exact same moment the two woman released their orgasms. He could swear he saw squirting if that was even a thing. As if choreographed, the two women donned robes, gathered up their towels, and left the rooms.

On the ground level, Toby saw two men standing outside the Collins household talking to each other and sharing a beer. It was dark where he was standing even in the full moonlight so he suspected they didn’t see him. He stopped recording and hurried down the street. He was hoping that this brand new phone and the high definition camera would live up to all of the hype. His TikTok popularity was about to take a turn for the better.

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: The police are standing over the corpse of Tommy “Chiclet” Garcia in the middle of Rotary Park. His body looks like it has been pierced by thousands of tiny projectiles.

**Before**: Tommy “Chiclet” Garcia was in an extremely good mood this morning. His boss called and told him that he was doing such a great job that he could take the day off. His wife had made reservations for a nice romantic dinner at his favorite restaurant. If those two things weren’t awesome enough, he heard a rumor earlier from his best friend Kyle that the XFL may be returning next year. From Tommy’s point of view, his life couldn’t get any better than this.

It was about this time that Tommy decided to go over to Rotary Park and feed the birds. In previous visits, Tommy had put the feed into a container and basically just reached in and threw the contents around. Today, he was feeling especially creative so he decided to put as much bird feed into his cargo pockets as they could hold.

The initial feedings went pretty well until the birds realized that Tommy had feed in his pockets.